The New Job: Day One

I thought my reader(s) would be happy to know that after a nearly four-year hiatus from the blogging world, "I," like General MacArthur, "have returned."

I should clarify that I'm not implying that I am as beloved as MacArthur. Nor am I implying that I waded knee-deep in mud, blood and shit to return to blogging. (It was mostly just shit.) It was simply a World War II reference that happened to suit the situation. Relax, for Christ's sake. (Or for Santa Claus' sake. I really don't care for whose sake you relax. Just fucking relax, already.)

Anyway, since today's my first day, like any good new employee I'm going to:

1. Do the bare minimum;
2. See if I can score a free meal; and
3. Take off early and decompress over a fatty dinner and a case of beer.

If you rat me out to the boss, I'll make you disappear, and be fucking your wife and having your kids calling me "Daddy" in no time.

I'M BACK, BABY! If you don't like it, SUCK IT.